What if the opposite of love is not hate? What if it isn’t fear, or indifference either? What if the opposite of love is murder? That when we are not loving others, not loving ourselves, showing ourselves healthy nourishing attentive care, then we are in fact killing the part we ignore?
Killing ourselves through the rejection of a certain thing: our health, the idea that’s begging our attention, care of the space we use & live in, or rejection of rest, exercise, proper nourishment…
Lack of food is far from the only way a person can starve to death, you know. Spiritual communion with God though study, prayer, fellowship with other Believers and meditation of His Word are all areas easy to neglect in this hustling bustling technical world we live in. And through that neglect, we certainly murder a part of ourselves by this ill-ready decision to try to survive on bread alone.
And isn’t the total buy in to seeking after God’s face & thirsting after His Word the one thing Jesus taught would cause the increase of all the other? The wealth of creative ideas and witty inventions; the emotional/soul prosperity and relational success we long for; the wisdom, knowledge & understanding; the sufficient financial provision we need unique to our needs and earthly calling; and lastly, not just good health, something even better… having our youth renewed like the eagle’s.
We kill all the vitality to keep the fluff alive when we refuse to abandon ourselves fully to the full exploration of God’s love and salvation. And where is it anyway? Oh, yes, I remember: the Kingdom of God is inside us. (Luke 17:21)
So the only way In is in…
The way to discover and mine It is to discover and mine ourselves; examine, accept, acknowledge and share through the gift of communication the goodies, the baddies we find.
I think about all the distance I’ve given irritability permission to create in my life, all the self protective guards, and walls and I’m beginning to recognize so much as the murdered opportunities they were to my heart’s greatest hope & desire: to share myself authentically & intimately with others as I drink them in as well…
And because I don’t think (yet) about my greatest hopes and desires without that little twinge of fear I feel from putting myself out there, to possibly being rejected, misunderstood, and just plain old “in the way”, I’m back to what seems to be my dreadful starting point: irritable, guarded, walled.
The fears are in the way. Judgment bars the door. And here we stand still sandbagging in ways we hardly detect anymore… the unspoken words about the unresolved feelings about how it went down so salty before, these are the sandbags that block us too tightly in.
I want out. All the way out of all the emotional barriers and blockades so I can go all the way in to God’s Promises. Do you ever feel that, too?
That playing the role of the salvation experience and wearing the disguise of a life filled with joy has gotten in the way of a fervent pursuit of what God is really offering us as Believers. Didn’t the Joker get the lead in that part? Yes, and I’m done with playing his understudy.
I want the lead. My lead. My role to be realized, manifested. The one nobody on the planet can play quite like I can.
And what about yours? The role God cast you in that people would rather leave the theatre than sit and watch a substitute stumble through. Their tickets are already bought, already ripped in two, and still they’re leaving because they want, no, they need you.
This is about our inheritance. The will God wrote with His Spirit and Christ signed His Name with His Blood. And don’t talk to me about Heaven right here because that’s literally the last place we were ever meant to take hold of this inheritance. This lifetime, right here, right now is the first.
But how do we stop the suicides to finally give ourselves a chance?
We can start by praising God for the Resurrection. Because Christ died and rose, so can we. Because Lazarus rose to come forth from his tomb bound and stinking to sit free and clean at the meal table with Christ as a living, breathing testament to the power of His grace, so can we. Praise God!
So put away your weapons of self destruction & self sabotage. It’s time to love to nurture and nurture to love yourself.
Your heart’s desires, your body and soul, your past, your now, and your future. Your impulse to create, your passion to start, your longing to finish… Your prayer to see it, say it, learn it, teach it…
Don’t kill it. Love it into being. It needs you as you need it to live.