It’s been a while since my last post, I know. Forgive me for being so quiet. And for me to have left you for so long with something on a 20 year old movie is pretty rude. Lol…it’s just that I’ve had soooo much on my heart and mind. I’ve been sorting, and believe me, there has been much to sort.
I left the Island yesterday for the second time. I initially pulled out on February 29th, Leap Year Day with big huge poetic plans on how that was to be the day of my re-leap into The Miles….but there was an ugly snow storm at the pass. Trucks with chains on their multi wheels and when my car slipped and slid for the third time in a mile, I turned it around about 80 miles out. Henri Hardenburg, half of the sweetest couple (Sally’s husband) I met at an outing at the NWLA in Langley, offered me his sister’s cute little beachside vacation home. I stayed there till yesterday (Sunday) writing, thinking, and gathering the rest of what I needed for this next leg of my journey.
I’m writing this from Medford, Oregon. I got here the long way from Washington, via Route 101, the Pacific Coast Scenic Highway. It was breathtaking and well worth the 6 hours it added to my journey. I saw beautiful sloughs (imagine that), quaint little seaside towns that looked like yesteryear, an amazing amazing combination of coastal and mountain views, a large family of elk grazing peacefully beside the highway, and another side of myself I had never seen before.
When the sun slept there was no reason for me to keep on the scenic route. I decided to turn inland and go southeast towards the Grand Canyon. But where I was I didn’t know. Sure, Tillamook, Oregon was on all the signs around me, but I had zero concept of where I was on this friendly American soil of ours. I had no map.
I have planned (or perhaps, not planned) and encountered this entire trip thus far, much the same way I have been living my life. By the seat of my pants. Going to Whidbey Island I had an address. A concrete destination and a goal to get there in the least amount of time possible. Leaving Whidbey for my NC home was always going to be a meandering quest. I knew I wanted to drive Route 101 for the sights and then head toward Flagstaff, Arizona. But I have travelled almost 4,000 miles so far and only just now come to the realization that intent and an iphone are perhaps not the best, and certainly not the only, tools I need to do this wisely.
Call me a crazy, a fool, gullible, call me whatever you like but please include the words shocked and mapless. I remember being amazed on the way out at how the states were appearing before me. There were town indicators on those sweet little green signs the department of transportation leaves as clues for its guests, not state ones. So when I’d see the next state show up I’d have this feeling of awe and glee mixed together. It was like I was being refreshed by the ‘showing up’ of these accomplishments…strange, I know, because they were sneaking up on me from the frontside. Weird.
This is the same way I’ve been running Alaina Odessa Expressions, my business. I suddenly realized I have this awesome vision and no map. No real inclination as to what will show up next…just this huge heart’s desire God has given and no doubt blessed thus far, but I’ve been far too passive, mapless, in my contributions to this whole endeavor.
For years, I’ve been thinking lack of trust was my biggest issue. It isn’t. I see that I have a tendency to trust too much when I know the ability is there. My trust is childlike. Limp. Inactive.
I can’t just keep “going” like I’ve been doing. It’s time I take the time to plan my “goings” and execute that plan. What I have going on in my business is equivalent to what I’ve seen go on thus far with The Miles…
A destination/vision that’s thousands of miles away from where I stand right now, and yes, I thank God for the thousands of miles behind me. He has brought me a mighty long way. But, like Ruth, I can’t just rely anymore on the handfuls of purpose laid so tenderly and carefully before me.
I need a strategy. I need a plan. I’ve got to once and for all map this whole thing out.