“Narcissism is not falling in love with oneself; it is falling for ‘the false self”… the one which has no real heart, a cardboard self that can only mimic tenderness and toughness, but has no winged soul.” ~Dr Clarissa Pinkola Estes…
This quote speaks so much, especially on today, Valentine’s Day. It’s the day where the mimicked tenderness and toughness takes on a whole new punch.
People, singles especially, have been known to start manipulating themselves toward tender behaviors in mid January in hopes of having a little action on today. And if not, if there are no viable takers of said tenderness on the scene, that’s when toughness comes saying “Who even cares about it anyway?” or some variation of “Cupid is stupid!”
I agree with Dr. Estes’ idea here about narcissism. I think we can be so hungry to have love for ourselves that we put on the false self we think folk want us to be. The more frightened we become about being lonely and isolated, we begin the arduous task of standing the false self up. And once we get the ‘image’ erected, we let it live our lives and put our real selves to sleep in something like the pods they slept in in The Matrix.
And I’ll go ahead and be tough here and say, it’s time we wake ourselves up. Actually, that we’re safe to wake ourselves up because today is Love Day. Today is the day that the Lord has made for such an awakening.
No more using our energy to puppeteer the image. No more overriding God’s fearfully and wonderfully made creation called “ME”. I’ll never learn to appreciate the works of my hands until I learn to appreciate the works of the Lord’s first.
And speaking of the celebrations of the workings of hands, we celebrate the works of the world’s, too. Valentine’s Day may have had noteworthy beginnings but it’s grown into a fatted golden calf of consumption, consumerism, and a supposed projection of our love value.
There are children all over this country who didn’t want to go to school today because they knew they wouldn’t get ‘valentines’ from their peers. Women, absent from themselves, sit in pools of tears because cupid somehow missed again. Men… (I don’t know what the single men are doing….Lol…..so I’ma leave that alone!!! But anyway, you get my point! Lol…).
Our love value isn’t measured by the Godiva chocolates, flowers, jewelry, dinner, and limo rides we receive or don’t receive today. Our love value isn’t determined by material things at all, nor is it in the attention & accolades we receive from others.
Our love value is intrinsic in our existence. Love made us with Its own hands. We are It. We are love…
And so we’re free. Free to wake up on Love Day, which is everyday by the way, and cultivate the truth of our Beingness in Christ. Free to laugh without the laugh track, sing off key, dance off beat; learn who we are and aren’t, what we enjoy and don’t, and then give ourselves permission to build a life on that.
We’re getting older by the minute. So, listen, if there’s something you want to do, a place you want to go, a thing you want to see…know this:
The Love of Days is saying,
“Fear not, for I am with you always, even until the end of the earth.”
In Jesus’ Name…Amen.