My “small beginning” kept burning out. But lighting and relighting everything I could get my hands, from old newspaper leaves to these “guaranteed” fire starter thingies that never did hold the flame, finally made it thrive.
So here I sit, in the coziness of this living room accompanied by the song of a beautiful fire, thinking….
About small beginnings. About how God has instructed us not to despise them, and about how we so often do. I remember when I first had the thought to start reaching for more in Christ. Everything in and around me shouted what a fool I was. I mean let’s be practical, there’s a reasonable path to the lives people lead that typically begins to take shape earlier than the 32 years that had already managed to slip by me at that time. Right?
“Girl, face it, you missed it.” “You’re too much of an idealist…get real!”
But I couldn’t. I tried. I really did but what I was feeling and hearing in my spirit is as real as it gets. I will admit that when I stopped to give “it” thought there was something extremely outrageous and off color about “it” all. So I made a decision to stop thinking about “it” and start moving with “it”.
I’m so glad I did because “it” was my small beginning.
I’m amazed that I actually get to watch this whole thing unfurl. I get to witness my dream, my desire, roughly the size of a mustard seed grow into something so much bigger than it ever was at first.
Sometimes I wonder if my dream still recognizes itself? But maybe it does… Maybe the joke’s on me and it was all ordained from the beginning that my poetry was hidden in the Post Office, my writer’s voice tucked in the odd arrangement of an HR degree, and my confidence to speak publicly in, of all places, a NY class for actors.
And so what if our dreams suffer the greatest losses because we are so narrow minded as to what will feed them? Why not trust the Providence of intuition to point us in odd directions to regather the sparks of soul fires gone out? Or can they be relit?
The fires in us lie dormant, never dead. The dream and the power to live it are gifts from God. Because the gifts and callings of God are without repentance, as long as there’s breath in the body, the dream in the dreamer must live.
And every dream comes with its own roads and systems. We don’t have to make it come to pass, all we must do is let it. Sit with it a spell and listen to its plans.
I think following the dreams and the little pods of hope they come in are our best bet at living anything like a beautiful life. Don’t get me wrong, now, this is easy to dispute. Inside our hearts and heads lives a safe haven who knows us all by name. Every day she meets us at the threshold of our daring and begs us not to trust that life is for the living. Don’t listen.
Listen instead to your “small beginning”. Every body has one…. And she’s waiting, too. Waiting for you to believe….
Though thy beginning was small, yet thy latter end should greatly increase. ~Job 8:7
See you at the ‘end’…:-)