I’m starting to get on my own nerves with the whole perfectionism thing. It’s probably THE most debilitating component of my personality….and believe me, I’ve got my share of issues!
But what’s the problem anyway? Don’t “they” say all we have to do is acknowledge and admit the problem to be delivered into deliverance? Well, it’s not true. I’ve known for years about this thorn in my flesh and yet….
And for the record, as soon as someone identifies the “they”, the possessors of all this bogus wisdom the world’s been feeding off all these years, I’ve got some pretty choice words for them.
But the good news is, I’m so close to being done with the paralytic ramifications of perfectionism, I feel bold enough to Blog about it…. WOW!!!
See, I’m starting to see a parallel in this mess. It’s this: I hate ill constructive criticism. Criticism that’s not constructive is not just not constructive… that’s idleness! This thing is actually deconstructive. It takes the parts of workingness (I’m in the mood to take liberties with words) and goes one step further than merely shutting them down. It’s antiprogressional (I told you:-) It works backwards by poking holes in the whole.
And when we take our eyes off a critical nature to look at the one striving for perfection, has the vantage point really changed? At the end of the day, isn’t perfectionism just the critical spirit on steroids?
Furthermore, the perfectionist is really most apt to do only one thing perfectly, and that’s criticize themselves? So perfectionism is more about unhealthy self criticism than it is anything else.
I hate unhealthy criticism. And if I hate it, but spend the majority of my time finding fault in my own efforts, isn’t that really a component of self hatred?
But God IS love, so isn’t self hatred anti-God? Oh, Lord…how can this be? I’m a Christian!!! Made in the image and likeness of the Triune God I serve, which would make me love as well, right? Yes.
Love and hate can’t coexist in peace…so what’s really going on here?
Am I praying for wholeness AS I participate in the very behaviors and mental constructs that would contribute to my demise?
Three weeks ago, I might have found a loop hole, argued with myself until I’d poked enough holes in the case to beat me out of the revelation that says:
Christ is perfect. I never can be. To be effective in Him is the mastery God has called me to.