Misunderstanding The Seed for Commitment

I know the parable of the sower.  There can be no harvest without seed sown for the desired harvest isn’t foreign to me.  We desire.  We plan.  We plant.  And we harvest.

Yes, I want tomatoes.  So please excuse me while I go and plant these here tomato seeds. The same with my grapes, my money, and all the other practical mumbo jumbo.  But the harvest I’ve always truly wanted, I could never quite identify the seed for it.

What I’ve wanted was commitment.  I’ve spend many an hour in conversation and contemplation discussing, poking, prodding, and thinking about how to sow for it.  I’ve finally come to a point of pristine clarity:  I was sowing for it all along because…


If only you could have heard the philosophical conversations I’ve tied myself up in knots in on the search for this revelation. I thought it must be something in the genes of those who stay with things, concepts, and people.

My Pop (Alan Bell) retired last month after 37 years of dedication to Wrangler’s Division of VF Corporation. Mr. & Mrs. Waddell at my church Union Memorial UMC shared last night during the Bible study discussion that they’ve been married 50 years…

What were they doing all that time? How had it worked? Mrs. Waddell joked and said “sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t…” Why would she say that I thought? It’s clearly worked because they’re still here, together.

Her sweet & raspy voice saying “sometimes it didn’t” rang in my spirit for hours.

My best experience of things ‘not working’ has always translated into somebody leaving. When the chips were down, you left. Period. There never really seemed to be any other option. It was either stay and seethe in anger/sear in shame, or escape to a place where the mask of peace could be worn in peace.

My Pastor, Rev. Otto Harris, last night said something like “Communication is what binds us. Conflict is an opportunity for any relationship to come closer together, not be torn apart”.

I love that. I suppose it’s the idealist in me that wanted to take up a standard and march for those words as soon as they left his mouth. The realist in me though knows that healthy communication is a mighty harvest in and of itself. Many have yet to even till its ground, much less sow the seeds of self acceptance and humility it takes to grow anything fruitful in its field.

Before I let ‘the voice’ convince me that all the unhealthy communicative connections I’m currently connected to are all my fault; before I let it depress me, I’m back to Philippians 2:12.  I’m safe in the arms of God knowing that what He’s asked me to do is stay on this quest of working out my own salvation with fear and trembling.  The rest is not my work.

And once again, I’m free!  Free to celebrate this beautiful spiritual milestone of finally understanding what commitment will cost me:

Time spent, over time spent, over time spent; mixed with some self acceptance and humility, and a heaping helping of real communication…

A recipe where all the ingredients are being grown in the garden of my heart!!!

Blessings & Strength,



About Alaina Odessa Expressions

Alaina Odessa is a Christian poet and author of Slow Running Honey, an anointed book of poetry that speaks to the secrets, self deception, and lack of self awareness that is holding many of God's people back from the abundance He created them for. She is creator of Alaina Odessa Expressions, a company dedicated to helping others 'Cultivate the God made self' through poetry, theatre, workshops, lectures, & television. Godly information fosters the mind renewal process all Christians must undertake to experience the fullness of Christ's sacrifice. Alaina Odessa Expressions strives to provide edifying, life changing content.
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2 Responses to Misunderstanding The Seed for Commitment

  1. Kellie,

    What a beautiful writer you are! Thank you for sharing this response to my post. Your words take me to an even deeper understanding and appreciation for the revelation. I love how God has chosen to use the insights of the collective to make us stronger, richer, wiser.

    There really is no growth without the collective investment. It’s what I believe has made the Internet such a powerful tool…it’s given the world a place to convene. Thank you for being such a giving voice in the world community. You empower!

    Blessings & Strength,

  2. Alaina,
    There are many truths shared in this post that resonated with me. Development is and will always be critical to the growth process and it is the root of commitment. It is the difference between those premier athletes, entertainers, pastors, teachers, writers, speakers, and even parents who spend hours honing their crafts, studying themselves, identifying their own strengths as well as the areas of their lives that need more time to grow.

    The level of commitment to practice, conversation, analysis, evaluation, and yes, prayer are what those looking from the outside-in, typically do not see. They see the results and unfortunately, those results may make the journey seem effortless. Your marriage example is the perfect model of this process. We, the outside world, can only imagine what it would take to commit to someone (to anything for that matter) for that long.

    So, I concur with you wholeheartedly: “The time spent in development is the seed of commitment.”
    I celebrate this spiritual milestone with you.

    Thank you for sharing yet another insightful post.

    Love you much,

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