Self Gratification or Salvation?

We’re living inside cycles. Cycles created by our environments and our reactions to them. Cycles are about momentum and nothing breaks momentum but a greater outside force.

One of the elements needed to experience a break in momentum from an unfruitful cycle is self awareness. When we’re willing to be self aware, we are able to see ourselves for who we really are as opposed to just who we want to be. We abandon denial and empower ourselves to become the creative forces, the change agents we are called by God to be.

Without self awareness we say we want to stop a certain behavior, thought process or deed, but lack the clarity of mind to do it. One who lacks self awareness lacks the capacity for true change because they have a blindside. There’s a component of denial that will always hinder the manifestation of authenticity. How can we be whole when we cannot be real?

We’re all pretty quick to tell how others have wronged us. But what living a life of denial does, is keep us trapped in a place where we serve as our own chief wronger. No one can ever hurt us the way we hurt ourselves when we are in denial. Denial is about being steeped in the pride of life…one of the three foundations of all sin…..

1 John 2:16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.)

Here, we struggle & strive to safeguard our image. We pretend our butts off because we don’t want others, outsiders, to know we have these struggles within ourselves. This is where masks & hypocrisy & self esteem contradictions come in. This is also were we rape ourselves wrong because when it’s all said and done, even though the lie isn’t spoken…it’s still a lie. It’s self deceit, the seed of every addiction, pathology, and damnation.

God is not a God of lies, neither is He a God of secrets. Any secret we keep is kept for the enemy against God. We set ourselves free by confessing those secrets….. And it’s not about going to the rooftops to shout it to the world. What would be the point in that anyway? The world can’t save us because God already has. It’s Him we have to get in a quiet place to tell the truth to (out loud) about ourselves.

Afterwards, there’s a great need for prayers of forgiveness because, make no mistake, the mind yet to be renewed by the Word of God has been programmed to treat itself 1000% worse than any outsider could ever dream of doing. I often call myself a broken heart survivor. I can still flinch sometimes when I think about how badly I used to treat me but I had to learn to forgive myself for what I didn’t know.

Forgiveness can only come from a place of understanding. People will never forgive what they don’t understand. How can I ever forgive my molester without the empathy of understanding he did the best he could. And even when someone else’s best is the foundation of our abuse, we still have to grow in the recognition that doing better, being better, requires not only knowing better, but also understanding the effects of what is known. Knowledge without understanding is confusion. Confusion is about being discombobulated, turned around, immobilized & trapped.

At the end of the day, self awareness sets us free. If I can see me, and the faults in myself, I can turn myself in to the Higher Court, the Righteous All Knowing Judge that sits high and looks low. God has told us in His Word that we’re required to give an account of how we lived our lives, how we treated ourselves and our neighbors…. Not one word is said about us giving God any recap of how people treated us. We have a PERSONAL salvation to work out. Period.

As long as we continue to function from a place of undeveloped self awareness we will be subject to the world’s ingenious hypnotization resulting in the perpetual search for self gratification & protection as opposed to salvation. It’s time we come out of the daze.

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About Alaina Odessa Expressions

Alaina Odessa is a Christian poet and author of Slow Running Honey, an anointed book of poetry that speaks to the secrets, self deception, and lack of self awareness that is holding many of God's people back from the abundance He created them for. She is creator of Alaina Odessa Expressions, a company dedicated to helping others 'Cultivate the God made self' through poetry, theatre, workshops, lectures, & television. Godly information fosters the mind renewal process all Christians must undertake to experience the fullness of Christ's sacrifice. Alaina Odessa Expressions strives to provide edifying, life changing content.
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2 Responses to Self Gratification or Salvation?

  1. Harold says:

    I enjoyed what u said I told my congregation as true saints of God we must sow seeds for the kingdom. Keep up the great work of the Lord.

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